This is a journey for me. One step at a time and I know there is a time limit on my membership with Metabolic Research but I have so much to figure out. I run my business and literally am on my toes from 6:30am to 10pm at night sometimes driving all over taking puppies to vets, picking them up in Green Valley Ranch at Joes's house and taking them to him at times. There's Petsmart almost every other day and all this is going on around the remodel of my home. It's been all torn up for the past few months since I decided to go ahead and do some of the repairs on the basement and paint the upstairs finally. It's such a huge improvement I can't understand why I waited so long to do it all. I'm in love with my home and I even got two couches last week to put in my sitting room and it's lovely to have guests here and sit and talk with them in my sitting room. It's my "parlor" and I've always wanted one of those. I ordered a set of canvas pictures of my children that are on their way to grace the wall behind the couches and I feel so blessed I'm on the verge of tears most of the time.
I know that I have a higher power that will help me with my weight loss goals. I know it's in my best interest to care more about myself. I need to join a gym and give myself the shot in the arm I need to really love myself enough to monitor what I eat and not just diet but LEARN how to feed myself foods that are good for me. I have a lifetime of habits to break. I need to be patient with myself and not do this for some GUY or to look good in a dress for my kids wedding. All that is fine but what happens when the wedding is over and that GUY goes home? It's just me. I need to be the priority not some event or some other person. That's been the underlying cause of failure for me. I don't want to fail anymore. I want to learn how to cook healthy foods and crave them and make a change in my life that is so gradual that I lose the weight naturally and slowly. I don't care what anyone thinks of how I look. I care how "I" think. I like myself and I would even go so far as to say I love who I am right now. Right this minute I think this is the best me I've ever been. I try to do my best by my children and my friends. I am honest and I give to the people who need help from me. I love what I do and helping people find their fuzzy kids is kind of cool actually and I manage to make a decent living at it.
I don't know how many years I'll have left here on this earth. I do know I want them to be happy productive ones. I don't want to get sick or have my body give out on me. I'm 55 and I'm on the slippery slope toward aging and in some people's opinions I'm already there. I haven't cared about my health enough and I have to do that if I want to be there for my grand children and to help my kids through their lives. I don't have a husband to care for. I have this house and my kids. I don't miss taking care of a man in my life, that part I don't really even think about anymore. I've had a few really great experiences with love and I'm not someone who is depressed over not having a lifelong relationship with someone. I see it work for others and I am happy for them. I don't long for that for myself though. I believe we get what we are meant to have in our lives and the trick of it is to be happy with what we have been given and I'm very happy with my life just the way it is.
I want to be more healthy and more healthy translates into the proper body weight and everything I eat matters. So here's the deal. I'm going over to 24 hour fitness and joining up. I'm going to learn to take care of me and the food thing will fall into place. I'm confident it will. Stay tuned.
Adele
No comments:
Post a Comment